According to Jim

Episodes

Season 3 · 29 episodes

• E1 The Errand
  Sep 23, 2003 25 min

  When Jim finds out that Cheryl has been paying 7 dollars to have the groceries delivered to their house, he insists that he does the shopping himself in order to save that incredible amount of money. Once at the supermarket, he sees how married men are "domesticated" by their wives and decides to rebel against Cheryl by shopping everything but the items on the list. Cheryl decides to turn the table on Jim and he does the same, until they end up going to a formal party on robes and underwear with their bodies all painted with lipstick. Cheryl finally gives in and they settle on paying the delivery boy the seven dollars in order to spare the Spice Channel subscription.

• E2 The Packer Ball
  Sep 30, 2003 25 min

  Jim is horrified when he sees his son Kyle with a green Packers ball. He tries by all means to change it for a Bears one, but the kid just can't let go of the green ball. Jim has nightmares about it and takes Kyle to his work in another attempt to get rid of the Packers ball. When he realizes there's nothing he can do about it, he does a little alteration on the ball so they can go to the Bears game peacefully.

• E3 We Have a Bingo
  Oct 7, 2003 25 min

  Jim wrestles with his conscience after he cheats at a church fundraiser bingo game.

• E4 Getting to Know You
  Oct 14, 2003 25 min

  Cheryl says a friend of hers got jewelry for his wife for no reason and Jim says he's probably cheating on her. After Cheryl takes it offensively that Jim won't buy her jewelry because he doesn't think he has to – after all, they are married and he isn't cheating – he goes out to shop for earrings, only to find out he knows nothing about Cheryl. After spending three days dedicating himself entirely to paying attention to Cheryl – with a bit of Andy's help – Jim finds out that Cheryl's friend was indeed cheating and they finally make up.

• E5 The Lemonade Stand
  Oct 21, 2003 25 min

  Jim and Cheryl encourage the girls to make a lemonade stand and raise money for their scooters. What was supposed to be a lesson about the value of the dollar turns into a racy competition among neighbors when Bill and his next door neighbor Driscoll set up little amusement parks in their years. Dana and Andy pitch in, while Cheryl tries to stay out of it – until she gets into a catfight with the neighbor's wife. Once the police is called in, Jim realizes he's lost the purpose of the lemonade stand and decides to give the girls the rest of the money for the scooters.

• E6 ABC's and 123's
  Oct 21, 2003 25 min

  Trying to lighten Ruby's homework load – and therefore look like he's helping her – Jim tells Ruby's teacher that Cheryl can't read.

• E7 Dana Dates Jim
  Oct 28, 2003 25 min

  It's Halloween and Cheryl is trying to host "the" party so she can own Halloween in the neighborhood. Dana brings in her newest date, Hank, who carries an awful lot of similarities to Jim. While refusing to admit she's dating Jim, Dana realizes the truth when she accidentally pinches Jim's butt thinking it was Hank. The next day she and Cheryl have a fight over the whole situation, which leaves it up to Jim and Andy to fix the friendship between the two sisters.

• E8 Scary Movie
  Nov 4, 2003 25 min

  Gracie and Ruby have nightmares after Jim secretly takes them to see a scary movie. (ABC)

• E9 The Imaginary Friend
  Nov 11, 2003 25 min

  Jim creates an imaginary friend to avoid going to a couple's baby shower with Cheryl.

• E10 Paintball
  Nov 18, 2003 25 min

  Cheryl cajoles Jim into attending a couples cooking class, which turns into a disaster, so she lets Jim pick out the next couples activity – paintball.

• E11 The Empty Gesture
  Nov 25, 2003 25 min

  Cheryl starts to feel taken for granted as she prepares Thanksgiving dinner. She suffers the ultimate insult when she gets stuck on the roof after retrieving her tablecloth that Jim had fashioned into a ghost for Halloween, and no one notices her absence until she unhooks the satellite. To apologize, Jim tells her that he, Dana and Andy will prepare the dinner. Jim never thinks that Cheryl, being the control freak that she is, would allow that to happen, so he doesn't make dinner. Unfortunately, neither does Cheryl.

• E12 Rules of Engagement
  Dec 2, 2003 25 min

  Cheryl caters to Jim's every whim to make amends for a big fight they had the night before-except Jim doesn't remember the fight at all.

• E13 Secret Santa
  Dec 9, 2003 25 min

  Dana admits to Cheryl that she can't afford to buy Jim a Christmas present, so Cheryl lets Dana put her name on one of the presents she bought for him. Dana innocently picks out Cheryl's big present to Jim, but when Jim is thrilled with the gift, Dana is ready to take all the credit for it.

• E14 House for Sale
  Jan 6, 2004 25 min

  The Devlins place a bid on the house across the street from Jim and Cheryl, to their dismay.

• E15 Dana Dates the Reverend
  Jan 27, 2004 25 min

  Dana and Jim both covet their reverend - she for romance, he for the pastor's prowess at bowling.

• E16 The Best Man
  Feb 10, 2004 25 min

  Cheryl forbids Jim from throwing his cop friend Danny a bachelor party with beer and strippers. She fears that Danny will show up at his own wedding with a hangover – as Jim did at their wedding. Jim and his buddies decide to take Danny for a swim in bitter-cold Lake Michigan – forcing a hospital visit for Danny. The wedding morning, Danny stays in bed, moaning and groaning, and Cheryl frets, but the doctor assures everyone there's nothing wrong with him. Jim realizes Danny just has cold feet, so he tries to convince him to go through with his wedding to Laraine, a fellow cop.

• E17 Cheryl Sings
  Feb 17, 2004 25 min

  Cheryl tries to impress her boastful cousin Mindy by posing as the lead singer of Jim's band – even though she has a terrible voice. Jim agrees to perform at Mindy's engagement party with Cheryl playing the part in order to teach his wife a lesson about embellishment by making a fool of herself. However, when Mindy tells Jim that her fiancé, Eric, is a record producer, he must decide between telling Cheryl the truth and making a bad impression on Eric.

• E18 When You Wish to Be a Star (1)
  Feb 24, 2004 25 min

  Dana's first task at the ad agency is to cast the perfect TV family for a Disney cruise commercial. Cheryl and the kids get the job, but Dana's boss replaces Jim with a handsome actor in the role of "dad."

• E19 When You Wish to Be a Star (2)
  Mar 2, 2004 25 min

  Jim takes umbrage at being replaced as the father in a promotional shoot for a cruise line.

• E20 No Crime, But Punishment
  Mar 9, 2004 25 min

  Gracie's recent misbehavior makes Jim think she is lying about a friend giving her a new video game.

• E21 The Baby
  Mar 16, 2004 25 min

  Jim's sister, Roxanne, shows up on his doorstep, pregnant, and lets Andy believe he's the father.

• E22 Who's the Boss?
  Mar 30, 2004 25 min

  Andy resents a wealthy client, but then decides to date her.

• E23 The Truck
  Apr 6, 2004 25 min

  Cheryl ask Jim to use his truck to transport a giant paper-mâché grizzly bear the girls made for "spirit week" to their school – except Jim just lost his truck in an arm wrestling match and, in a gesture of macho pride, refuses to ask for it back.

• E24 The Toilet
  Apr 27, 2004 25 min

  Cheryl promises to take Jim's opinions seriously when she decides to remodel the bathroom, until Jim insists it include a hideous high-tech stainless steel toilet – that talks.

• E25 Trashed
  May 4, 2004 25 min

  Pack rat Cheryl asks Jim to rent a storage unit to house seven years' worth of the kids' art projects, but Jim refuses to pay the fee, so he tosses everything out, thinking Cheryl won't notice – until she needs some of the projects for a special retirement party for Ruby's art teacher.

• E26 The Marriage Bank
  May 11, 2004 25 min

  Thinking it might get Cheryl to let him go on a fishing trip with Andy, Jim makes a "deposit" in the "marriage bank" by agreeing to go to a couples seminar with her. Jim's plans are foiled, however, when Dr. Ted, the marriage guru, declares the whole marriage bank mentality unhealthy and Cheryl learns Jim's real motives – so that Dr. Ted must intervene.

• E27 Everyone Gets Dumped
  May 18, 2004 25 min

  Jim develops a friendship with Dana's new boyfriend, despite the fact that the guy dumped Cheryl years ago.

• E28 The Swimming Pool (1)
  May 25, 2004 25 min

  Cheryl protests when a heat wave sends the family sneaking into a vacationing neighbor's pool -- until she starts sneaking over on her own.

• E29 The Vast Difference (2)
  May 25, 2004 25 min

  Jim chickens out of having a vasectomy, but Cheryl is so effusive in her praise that he's unable to admit he didn't go through with it