Seinfeld

Episodes

Season 3 · 23 episodes

• E1 The Note
  Sep 18, 1991 25 min

  To get a top-of-the-line massage free, Jerry asks his dentist friend to sign a note saying Jerry, George and Elaine need treatment from a certified physical therapist for medical reasons. When the doctor is later suspected of insurance fraud, Jerry must figure a way to save his friend's reputation and career.

• E2 The Truth
  Sep 25, 1991 25 min

  After a tortuous evening with a new girlfriend, George tells her they should stop seeing each other. He then makes the mistake of accommodating her when she insists on hearing the reason. Meanwhile, Elaine bites her lip as Kramer's wild romance with her roommate heats up.

• E3 The Pen
  Oct 2, 1991 25 min

  Jerry and Elaine visit Jerry's parents in Florida, where Jerry's father is being honored by his condominium association. At dinner, Jerry admires a special astronaut's pen owned by one of the association members. When Jerry accepts it as a gift, he starts a mountain of tension with his folks, who feel Jerry should have refused.

• E4 The Dog
  Oct 9, 1991 25 min

  Jerry is stuck at home when he gets roped into dog-sitting a rambunctious hound. Without Jerry around, George and Elaine find they have little in common. Meanwhile, Kramer insists it's the absolute end for him and his girlfriend and that he's going to end the relationship.

• E5 The Library
  Oct 16, 1991 25 min

  The library contacts Jerry about an overdue book dating back to 1971. According to Kramer, with a fine of 5 cents a day for 20 years, the cost could come to $50,000. In a flashback to when Jerry and George were teens in high school, Jerry attempts to recall exactly when he returned the book in question.

• E6 The Parking Garage
  Oct 30, 1991 25 min

  Jerry and his friends get lost in a parking garage.

• E7 The Cafe
  Nov 6, 1991 25 min

  Noticing that few people stop to eat at a certain small neighborhood cafe, Jerry feels sorry for the owner and stops in to suggest ways of increasing business - which causes the restaurant to do even worse. Meanwhile, George agrees to take an I.Q. test as part of his girlfriend's research project and then fears she'll find out he's not as smart as he's been saying he is.

• E8 The Tape
  Nov 13, 1991 25 min

  Jerry frantically tries to identify the mystery woman who anonymously whispered naughty suggestions into the tape recorder he used to record his stand-up comedy act. But when Elaine confides to George that the voice was hers, George sees her in a more sensual light! Hoping to impress her, he procures an ancient Chinese potion guaranteed to grow hair.

• E9 The Nose Job
  Nov 20, 1991 25 min

  Jerry is tom between his libido and his brain when he debates whether to continue dating a sexy, gorgeous -- but self-centered and witless -- actress. Meanwhile, George can't help staring at the unusually large nose of an otherwise attractive woman he's been seeing.

• E10 The Stranded
  Nov 27, 1991 25 min

  Elaine and Jerry are left stranded at a party after George goes home with his date.

• E11 The Alternate Side
  Dec 4, 1991 25 min

  No sooner does Elaine tell Jerry the virtues of dating an older man than she decides to break up with her 66-year-old beau -- a split made more complicated when he has a heart attack in front on Jerry's apartment. To make matters worse, George flunks his new job of parking cars -- which blocks traffic and an approaching ambulance.

• E12 The Red Dot
  Dec 11, 1991 25 min

  Jerry accidentally causes Elaine's breakup with her boyfriend, a recovering alcoholic, when he resumes drinking. George shows his gratitude to Elaine for finding him a job by buying her a discounted cashmere sweater, hoping she won't notice the slight blemish in the fabric.

• E13 The Subway
  Jan 8, 1992 25 min

  Riding the subway proves both boom and bust for Jerry and his friends.

• E14 The Pez Dispenser
  Jan 15, 1992 25 min

  Jerry's practical joke causes George problems with his new girlfriend.

• E15 The Suicide
  Jan 29, 1992 25 min

  Jerry frets that his creepy neighbor will awake from his coma and find out that he's been dating the sick man's passionate girlfriend. Meanwhile, Elaine is out of her mind with hunger after fasting to prepare for an ulcer test, and George delays a Caribbean vacation to consult a psychic about his fear of a plane crash.

• E16 The Fix-Up
  Feb 5, 1992 25 min

  Against their better judgment, Jerry and Elaine decide to play matchmaker for the jobless, dateless and possibly hopeless George, setting him up with a single friend of Elaine's.

• E17 The Boyfriend (1)
  Feb 12, 1992 25 min

  While performing his comedy act, Jerry meets Keith Hernandez (as himself), the former New York Mets all-star and one of Jerry's favorite baseball players. But Jerry finds himself competing for his new pal's time with Elaine, who has caught Keith's eye. And shameless George will do anything to extend his unemployment benefits, including dating a bureaucrat's plain-looking daughter.

• E18 The Boyfriend (2)
  Feb 12, 1992 25 min

  While performing his comedy act, Jerry meets Keith Hernandez (as himself), the former New York Mets all-star and one of Jerry's favorite baseball players. But Jerry finds himself competing for his new pal's time with Elaine, who has caught Keith's eye. And shameless George will do anything to extend his unemployment benefits, including dating a bureaucrat's plain-looking daughter.

• E19 The Limo
  Feb 26, 1992 25 min

  When George's car breaks down at the airport, Jerry coolly convinces a waiting limo driver that they are his intended passengers. Their clever ruse turns ominous, however, when they learn the real client is a neo-Nazi -- and they're en route to a rally where violent protesters are eager to get their hands on their quarry.

• E20 The Good Samaritan
  Mar 4, 1992 25 min

  Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run and tracks down the driver, but his good intentions get sidetracked when he discovers she's a beautiful woman -- and willing to go out with him. Meanwhile, George flees town when he has an affair with the wife of a belligerent husband whose revenge knows no bounds.

• E21 The Letter
  Mar 25, 1992 25 min

  Jerry's new girlfriend gives his friends Elaine, George and Kramer prime VIP seats to a Yankees baseball game. But when the trio is tossed out for a minor altercation, Jerry backs up his friends and calls it quits with the woman -- until she woos him back with a piece of plagiarized prose.

• E22 The Parking Space
  Apr 22, 1992 25 min

  As Jerry settles in to watch a boxing match on TV, George and Elaine return with his borrowed car and concoct a wild story to explain why it's developed a clanking noise. In addition, the reckless George heatedly debates geometric angles with a fellow parallel parker who challenges his right to the same precious space.

• E23 The Keys
  May 6, 1992 25 min

  When Kramer invites himself over once too often, Jerry demands he return the spare set of keys Jerry loaned to him, which virtually ends their open-door friendship. Distraught and overwrought, Kramer heads west to California and meets new and interesting people.